FabbieFoodie: Gotta go eat at Joe's...Stone Crab that is!

Every once in a while we've all gotta suck up our pride, put our tails between our legs, and walk into the most "touristy" restaurant we can find. In my case, that would be Joe's Stone Crab in South Beach, Miami. Now that I can (somewhat) call myself a local of South Florida, waiting for up to three hours in a crowded restaurant for a few stone crab claws doesn't seem all that appealing- especially when I can enjoy stone crab at almost any restaurant that serves seafood in the area. However, with the future in-laws in town visiting we made the 30 minute drive into South Beach to enjoy stone crabs the best way we knew how- at Joe's!

Despite their "no reservations" policy, and their reputation as THE place in Miami for an authentic stone crab eating experience, the wait can be torture. However, when you show up on a Tuesday evening the restaurant is a whole different place. The bar is easily accessible, there are plenty of tables on their large patio waiting area to sit down and enjoy a cocktail or a glass of wine while waiting, and after a brief 25 minutes our table for 4 was ready! I believe that's a Joe's Stone Crab record (unless you slip the guy a 50 and a seductive wink).

I am a huge stone crab fan, but I'm a firm believer that anyone with a brain and a kitchen can serve up a stone crab claw that will taste just like the next. There is no great art in steaming a crab claw, and in the end it's really about savoring the delicious crab meat that's naturally tasty. However, regardless of my cynicism, Joe's really does provide the whole package. Diners can select from regular, select, large, and jumbo stone crabs, which all go for the market price. They also have a full menu featuring chicken and beef and other seafood, but honestly, who goes to Joe's for steak? The servers are all seasoned veterans of Joe's, having clearly worked there season after season. They all dress in formal tuxedos, and serve you with a smile and a no frills attitude. Our waiter was 62 and planning on serving for 2 more seasons before throwing in the towel. Whoever is in charge of upper management at Joe's must have a heart of gold, because those servers are loyal employees of Joe's and their knowledge of the menu and the restaurant is apparent. The black and white checkered floors take you back to another time and another place when patrons would get dressed to the nines to enjoy a meal. The restaurant seems to stretch on for miles and still can't seem to turn over tables quick enough- hence the 2 to 3 hour wait on weekends. Our water glasses were never empty, and our stone crab was brought to our table just quick enough to impress me, but not so quick that we felt as if they were rushing us out of the place.

I could go one and on about the side dishes and the soups and the salads (all which were stellar), but the true star of the show is the stone crabs. Joe's is famous for it's mustard sauce, but I think stone crab is so delicious it needs no dressing up. Yet, after one taste of their mustard sauce I was internally debating whether I should continue to be a stone crab purist or if I should dunk my crab meat into the mustard sauce- it has a rather addicting quality to it! After 99 seasons of practice, Joe's has also perfected the art form of cracking their stone crab claws in all the right places. Mallets aren't necessary to pry open the crab claws, which makes the stone crab experience that much more enjoyable!

Finally, one cannot go to Joe's without ordering their world-famous key lime pie for dessert. In all honesty, I'm not a Key-Lime Pie fan, but the other three people I was with were. We ordered three slices, and I had several tastes. I found this particular pie to be a lot less tart than others, with a crust that is what dreams are made of! I could have scooped off the key lime from the top and just dined on the crust, but I restrained myself!

After all was said and done, all four of us were thoroughly content after our meal. The stone crab was superb, and we left the restaurant with a nostalgic feeling of what South Beach used to be and how it used to taste.