Friday, September 24, 2010

This little piggy went to (City, Smitty's, Black's, Chisolm Trail, and Kreuz's) market!


Our mission: hit up the best barbeque joints in Lockhart and Luling Texas, focusing on the "big 3"- pork ribs, sausage, and of course brisket. We selected five barbeque joints with the goal of simply tasting each of the three pieces of meat at every restaurant. After tasting the big three at each barbeque joint we would select the winner. This is no small feat. For those of you not from Texas, Tennessee, Kansas, or any "barbeque state" you must realize that every piece of meat smoked at these eateries is a sense of pride. Each restaurant has it's loyal fans who swear by the meat prepared there. These places have been making their meat the same way for decades and they all must be doing something right because from 11:30am when we started to 3:30pm when we finished, we stood in long lines at every one of the barbeque joints we visited! In order to decide which of the five places really was the best, we brought along score sheets. We ranked the Q on appearance, tenderness, and overall taste with an additional section to vote on the "ambiance" of the barbeque restaurant. Each was ranked out of 10, and we doubled the rank of taste because that is, of course, the most important. The five barbeque places we visited were: City Market, Smitty's, Black's, Chisolm Trail, and Kreuz Market.

At our first destination, City Market in Luling, TX, we pulled up to an old building on what looked like "Main" street in any small town circa 1950. We were greeted by signs urging us to vote for "Amber, Jenny, and Billy Jean" for Watermelon Thump Queen. Apparently Luling is known for their watermelon, a fruit which the entire city celebrates with an annual "watermelon thump". What exactly is a "watermelon thump"? I'm still not sure, but apparently the occasion calls for a queen! However, that's a post for another day.

Upon entering City Market, the smell puts you on sensory overload. The smoke from the firewood, blended with the smoked meats hits you like a ton of tasty bricks! Immediately the stomach growling went from almost non-existent to off the charts. Each hungry customer passes the register and takes their place in a long line outside of a swinging door. On the other side of the swinging door is a huge smoker with 4 or 5 guys dishing up however much of whatever meat you want! The "smoking room" is about 25 degrees warmer than the dining area. G-d bless the men who work in the smoking room because if they don't end up with some sort of terrible smoke-induced illness in their later years, than some sort of a barbeque god is truly looking out for them! After getting a quarter pound of brisket, a sausage link, and 3 pork ribs we were ready to taste. Let me state the obvious here, when you haven't had breakfast and you're sitting in what smells like the meat Mecca of the world, it's hard to take just a "taste". The brisket had a perfectly formed smoke ring and quite literally melted in your mouth. The sausage had a delicious snap. And although the meat inside was a bit more "crumbly" than most sausages I've tasted, the overall sausage was perfect. It was slightly too greasy, but then again that's what makes things good! The pork ribs didn't quite fall off the bone, but they were anything but tough. At each picnic table there is sauce, but it's was not necessary for any of the three! As a matter of fact, the Hill Country bbq joints prefer you eat the meat without the sauce and after tasting it I get it. If the meat is prepared correctly, the natural flavors are released and sauce just isn't necessary. My dad and Carl probably went a bit overboard here with their "tastes" but when a man is hungry who am I to tell them they can't eat!

Our next stops are all located five minutes down the road in Lockhart, TX. Smitty's was the first Lockhart joint we tasted. The food here is served the same way- market style. The long dark hallway leading up to the even darker flaming meat smoking room at Smitty's was truly reminiscent of a scene out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The serving room at Smitty's is larger and hotter than at City Market, with open fires in the corners of the dark room. In the Texas heat, it was almost unbearable. It was so hot that I left the meat ordering to the men. My mom and I proceeded to the air conditioned dining area. The dining area is a huge brightly lit cafeteria style room with long tables running up and down the room. With so many people eating here, it was a fight to find a table. We chose four seats in the furthest corner of the room and we had to holler and wave our hands for Carl and my dad, who was dripping with sweat from the meat room, to find us. The first thing I tasted at Smitty's was the best. Their pork rib was hands down one of the best pork ribs I have ever tasted in my entire barbeque eating life. The meat literally fell off the bone before I could even get it to my mouth, and once it was in my mouth it started to melt immediately. The rib had a natural flavor that surpassed any additional flavor that a barbeque sauce could have added. The rest of the food left a lot to be desired... The sausage was, in my opinion, so dry that it was inedible. The brisket wasn't much better. Knowing that we had three more barbeque eateries left, I felt that I shouldn't continue to waste anymore room in my stomach by going back for a second bite so I left the dry sausage and dry brisket for the busboy to to take to the nearest dumpster.

Our next two stops, Black's and Chisolm Trail, were significantly lower quality than the previous two. The ribs at Black's looked almost plastic. If I were to place a rib from Black's next to a rib from Smitty's it would look like day and night. The rib was larger, stiffer and subsequently nearly impossible to rip off the bone. Now I realize I may sound a bit unfair, seeing as how I just stated that Smitty's had the best rib I've ever tasted in my entire life. But, if there is a "worst rib" category, I fear Black's may have succeeded in taking it! The sausage hardly tasted like sausage, and the brisket was as dry and tasteless as the rib. However, our trip to Black's is marked fondly by the experience of getting to meet Mr. and Mrs. Black. As the four of us are sitting at our table remarking at how terrible this barbeque is, we see an old man and woman walk out of the back door into the dining area. The chattering throughout the room led us to the realization that they were Mr. and Mrs. Black. Like local celebrities, they sauntered up and down the restaurant shaking the hands of their loyal patrons. Being the out of towners that we were, we ran up to Mr. Black and asked if we could take a picture with him! I must admit, I'm not from Lockhart, and if I ever return I will most certainly not be eating at Black's, but when we met Mr. Black I felt like I was meeting one of the Beatles! We snapped a picture with him and lied through our teeth as we told him how wonderful his barbeque was, then we hit the road to Chisolm Trail Barbeque.

Compared to Black's, Chisolm Trail was great! However, that's still not saying much. My mom was excited about the prospect of tasting their fried catfish which they boast on a large sign outside of the restaurant. Of course, they only serve that once a week, and today wasn't the lucky day. Unlike the other three places, the meat is served to you in the same room as you dine. Customers go down the aisle and choose what they want before paying at the register and then choosing a table in the same room. Unlike Black's, the owner of Chisolm Trail was behind the line cutting meat and schmoozing with his customers. He looked like any normal employee you'd expect to see cutting the meat, dressed in a grease stained t-shirt with a smile on his face. Chisolm Trail proved to be the cheapest of the three, with our total more than $10 less than the other places. However, the food reflected the prices. I thought all of the meat was dry. The sausage was not nearly as delicious as the sausage from City Market, but ranked well above the sausage from Black's and Smitty's. It didn't melt in my mouth, and it wasn't bursting with flavor, but it was definitely edible. If I didn't have the other three restaurants behind me to compare it to, I would've considered it good sausage, albeit greasy! I do realize it's unfair for me to be comparing Chisolm Trail and Black's to the other places of barbeque legend like Smitty's and Kreuz Market. However, we needed to taste all of the barbeque restaurants we could muster in order to make sure we understood why Kreuz Market and Smitty's were constantly ranked the top barbeque places in Texas.

After Chisolm Trail, our stomachs were nearly defeated. We had hit a meat wall and we were all fading fast. It crossed our minds to call off our craziness and vow to visit Kreuz market on another weekend, but we knew the likelihood of returning to Lockhart in the near future was slim to none so we dug down within ourselves and drove down the road to our final destination. Kreuz is the most famous of all the barbeque places we visited. Smitty's is followed by a close second, but Kreuz Market is consistently ranked among publications near and far as one of the best barbeque joints in the state of Texas and it's clear to me now why! Kreuz was home to the longest line of the day. Around 3:00pm we were well past regular lunch hour, and way too early for the dinner hour. The line was over 30 minutes long, somewhat like a line at DisneyWorld. Kreuz market is cleaner and more efficient than the others. At the end of the long line customers are escorted through a door into the meat room which has three servers who give customers whatever amount and type of meat they request. Once the meat is served, customers are escorted to the large dining room of picnic tables and booths where they proceed to pay at the checkout. The process is slow, but only because there are hundreds of others waiting to pay for their meat in front of you! The sausage at Kreuz was delicious. It wasn't too greasy, nor too crumbly. It had a wonderful consistency and left a slight tingle of spice in my mouth after eating it, just like a perfect sausage should! The brisket seemed to follow suit. There was a perfect smoke ring on the brisket which is like a little certification of authenticity. The brisket is tender and naturally flavorful. The pork ribs were equally as delicious. The rib was fall off the bone, melt in your mouth delicious. All of the meat was eaten without sauce, and was full of it's own natural juices and flavors When eaten together they all complimented one another, like a small meat party! Sauce at Kreuz Market is like a four letter word. The meat doesn't need the sauce. Even an unsophisticated palette can tell that the meat here doesn't need anything to dress it up, it's perfect as-is!

At the end of our day, after tallying our scores, we unanimously ranked Luling's City Market as our number one choice, followed closely by Kreuz market. I still wonder if our off the chart hunger and barbeque excitement led us to rank City Market the highest, but I can assure you, a trip there is most definitely not a waste of your time because it is damn good! If you're going to venture out to Lockhart and Luling Texas, I don't suggest attempting what we did. Five different barbeque places in one day is truly tough. I haven't had a strong craving for barbeque since, and I doubt I will soon. However, we talked with some really wonderful locals that day, and we formed memories we won't soon forget!




Carl and me in front of City market

Our first ribs of the day

The meat room at City Market


The dining area at Smitty's


Meeting Mr. Black

Meat Overload at Chisolm Trail

Kreuz Market



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